Dear Harvey …

… you are a lovely dog, and I appreciate your outpouring of affection for me. I understand that it is customary in the canine world to show one’s appreciation for the boss by presenting her with small gifts. It is not, however, necessary to uphold this custom while interacting with a human, and while I appreciate the sentiment, I would prefer that you refrain from depositing any more prairie dog carcasses on my doormat. They are difficult to clean up and alarming to the guests.

Thanks for your cooperation in this matter.

Love,
Your Owner

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