For no reason at all

I think I am losing my mind.

Every morning, I wake up sometime between 5:30 and 6, make myself a cappuccino, and go out to watch the sunrise over Coldwater before the guests start stumbling into the lobby in search of caffeine and conversation.

This morning, I woke up at 5:30, made myself a cappuccino, walked outside, and burst into tears for no apparent reason while the sun rose over Coldwater.

I have no idea what triggered this. I wasn’t sad. I’m not under any particular stress. I don’t have PMS. I’m not pregnant. I didn’t have any reason at all to burst into tears. I was just standing in front of the Tumbleweed, drinking my coffee and enjoying the morning, when this random wave of emotion kicked me in the head and turned me into an Anne Murray lyric for about five minutes.

I really hope I am not going totally batshit. I have a motel to run, a litter of kittens to raise, and Joey to keep up with. I just can’t add “nervous breakdown” to my to-do list this week.

— Sierra



  1. Ron · May 22, 2010

    You probably got the same sort of emotion I get when I hear Johnny Cash sing “Spiritual” or Aretha Franklin sing anything. Or when the sun sets over the Gloss Mountains of western Oklahoma or the grasslands of Osage County. It’s those moments when you can just barely feel God’s chest as he breathes in and out slowly.

  2. redforkhippie · May 22, 2010

    I get that between Mile 14 and Mile 15 in a marathon. I have absolutely no idea why it happens. It seems almost like a physiological response to something, but I’m not aware of anything special that happens at that distance. It’s very strange.

  3. Linda · May 22, 2010

    Ron, that’s one of the most poetic metaphors I’ve ever read. Beautifully expressed.

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